All Bow To Professor Oak
by Sarah the Swinub
Summary: Tracy is just a little too obsessed with everyone's favourite pokémon expert and his girlfriend isn't going to stand for it.


I found this 'fic I wrote aaaages ago and thought "What the hey, let's post it and laugh about how terrible I was a few years ago!" So, here you go.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Pokémon. Forgive my lack of witty comments. I'm just too bored to make one.

**Author's Note:** MUST...WRITE...FIC! Yeah, I wanna write something. I'll probably be bombarded with e-mails saying how utterly rubbish it is. Ah, c'est la vie. French is fun. Dannichu and I keep yelling "Oh la la! Je suis un retard!" and people give us 'odd looks'. We also keep asking people to 'masticate' with us, and they either don't know what it means or mishear us. Sick-minded fools. Sorry, getting off topic. I have no idea what I'm gonna write, so bear with me.

It means "Oh no! I am late!"

It means 'to chew', as in food.

---

All Bow to Professor Oak

"May! May! Where are you?" Tracy dumped his backpack on the floor next to the umbrella stand, and looked around for his live-in fiancé.

"In the kitchen!" came the reply, accompanied by the sound of a knife hitting a chopping board repeatedly. "Go and wait in the sitting room, dinner'll be ready soon."

"Thanks, dear." Tracy shrugged off his jacket, placed it on a nearby coat hook, and continued along the hall toward the sitting room.

Dropping into the large squashy sofa, Tracy looked around the room. It looked like May had gone on one of her cleaning sprees again, not a piece of mess or clutter could be seen. Several photos stood on the mantelpiece over the fire, most of him and May, Brock and Duplica, or Ash and Misty. In the centre there was a large group photo of the aforementioned couples, along with several friends, relatives and pokémon. Speaking of pokémon, May's Beautifly was resting in a tree outside. Basking in the peace and serenity of the situation, Tracy barely noticed as he began to nap.

"Tracy! Your dinner is ready!" Tracy blearily opened his eyes to see May standing in front of him, a plate of Spaghetti Bolognese in each hand. Sighing amidst a small smile, May hand him his plate and a knife and fork.

Blinking a few more times in an attempt to banish his drowsiness, Tracy accepted the plate of steaming food and raised himself into a slightly more upright position. May sat next to him and pecked him on the cheek.

"How was work?" she asked, picking up her own cutlery. At her words, Tracy remembered the big news he wanted to tell her.

"Oh May, it was great! One of the Mareep on Professor Oak's reserve had gone missing, but I managed to find it with Marill and Venonat. Then, after getting it back, Professor Oak called my initiative exemplary! 'Exemplary', May! That's a very high compliment from Professor Oak!" Unbeknownst to Tracy, May's eyes had clouded over at the mention of Professor Oak's name.

"That's...lovely, Trace." she said, toying with a strand of spaghetti, "Really great."

"Isn't it, though?" Tracy beamed at her, unconscious of her desire to scream in frustration. "Also, Professor Oak said-"

"Tracy," she interrupted sweetly, "Why don't we talk about something else?"

"Something...else?" Tracy repeated, looking bewildered.

"I mean, Professor Oak is a...fascinating man and all, but maybe him being the conversation subject for the majority of our conversations for the last two months merits a change, hmm?" Tracy looked astounded that she would suggest such a thing.

"Why would we ever run out of things to talk about when Professor Oak is involved?"

May looked pointedly at him, but Tracy just looked at her expectantly for an answer. So she didn't resort to throwing her meal at him, May decided it would be best for Tracy's health if she put down her plate and cutlery.

"Well...Why don't we talk about us? I never really see you now you've become Professor Oak's personal assistant." May tried, resting her hand on his. Tracy looked at her as if she was missing the point.

"Haven't I told you about how Professor Oak thought that while I was his assistant a few years ago he got much more work done. My work for him is very important." May's hands longed to throttle him.

"Which is more important, Professor Oak and your job, or me?" Tracy gave her a pitying look.

"I think we can all agree that Professor Oak is much more important to the modern world than you are, dear." May felt her jaw drop.

"You're not serious, are you?" Tracy blinked.

"Don't you know all of Professor Oak's achievements in the study of pokémon? I can list them, if you like." May's train of thought came to a shuddering halt. This had gone too far.

"You are the most idiotic, brainless, annoying, pathetic excuse for a fiancé know to man- and pokémon-kind!" May jumped up, startling Tracy.

"Please try to calm down, dear. I'm sorry if you feel jealous of my relationship with one of the most prominent members of the study of pokémonology-"

"RELATIONSHIP!" Outside, Beautifly woke with a start and flew up to the roof in fright. "Tell me Tracy, does Professor Oak return your devotion, or are you more the fanatical stalker type who has his picture with you every second of the day?"

Tracy blinked.

"Tracy, do you remember who asked me to go out with him before I began seeing you?" asked May, a steely edge to her voice.

"Gary." Tracy replied meekly, sinking into the sofa cushions.

"Yes Tracy, that's right. He's rather good-looking, Gary. He's become a lot nicer after

Ash became the Pokémon Master. No girl with half a brain cell would turn him down unless they had a VERY GOOD REASON, would they? But you know who did?"

"You did." Tracy answered, looking a bit pale and scared.

"And why did I do this, Tracy?" enquired May, her voice the epitome of malice.

"Because I asked you first." Tracy almost whispered, now the colour of milk.

"Yes you did, Tracy. You know, I might call up Gary any day now, seeing as he isn't in love with his one hundred and fifty year old boss, is he?"

"Professor Oak is only sixty one!" said Tracy indignantly, "And why are you suggesting that my feelings for him aren't strictly platonic?" Tracy immediately wished he hadn't said that.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe because when I went out shopping with you last week I showed you a dress to which you replied 'That's nice May, Professor had a shirt in that colour.'!"

"May-" Tracy started, but May kept going. Adopting an oily tone, she clasped her hands to her heart, her eyes sparkling in admiration.

"Oh Professor Oak, you're such a genius! Oh Professor Oak, you're royal blue shirt makes you look simply ravishing today! Oh Professor Oak, please shower me with compliments so I can drive my fiancé mad! Oh Professor Oak, you're the best person in the universe! Oh Professor Oak, can I lick your shoes? Oh Professor Oak, you're my idol! Oh Professor Oak, can I play with you hair?"

"Uh...May?" Tracy ventured, looking a bit worried. May ignored him and continued her rant.

"Oh Professor Oak, I can't pretend anymore! Oh Professor Oak, I love you! Oh Professor Oak, could we elope next Thursday, or would that be problematic because your work is so important! Oh Professor Oak-"

"I hope you don't mind the disruption, but I just wanted to say that I hope you won't take it personally if I do not take your feelings into too much consideration. By the way, could I borrow Tracy for a moment?"

Dread washed over May as a warm and cheerful, if slightly amused, voice interrupted her tirade.

"Professor Oak! Would you like some tea?" Tracy asked, setting his meal on the coffee table, jumping to his feet and speaking to someone behind May. She winced.

Oh dear.

"No thank you, I just wanted to ask if your report on the Rhyhorn's need to charge was finished."

"Oh yes! It's just here." Tracy picked up a sheaf of papers from a side table and handed them to him as May felt her face get gradually hotter as she stared determinedly at the coffee table.

"Thank you. Well, I must be off." May breathed a silent sigh of relief. He was leaving.

The embarrassment hadn't been too horrible...

"By the way, Tracy, who is this enchanting young lady?" Professor Oak enquired, his eyes twinkling.

Gulp.

"This is my fiancé, May." Tracy replied, shooting her a mischievous look. Forcing herself to turn around, she offered him a pitiful smile and shook his outstretched hand.

"Charmed, May." Professor Oak said, his eyes still twinkling. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow." As soon as the front door slammed, Tracy burst out laughing.

"It's not funny!"

"Yes...it...was!" gasped Tracy through his laughter. May gave him a withering glare that killed the humour rather quickly.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. But you did deserve it."

"Deserve it?" May yelled, "Just because I do not bow down to the Holiness, Professor

Oak, like every other sane person?"

"Are you questioning my sanity?" asked Tracy, looking highly affronted.

"Yes."

"Shut up."

"Well, we have the rest of the evening to ourselves, what do you say we do with it?" May asked, draping her arms lazily around his neck. Tracy grinned slyly.

"We could talk about Professor Oak." he suggested, looking rather evil. May pulled away from him instantly. "I'm kidding! I'm kidding!"

"Are you sure about that?" May enquired, raising one eyebrow. "A whole evening of no talking about Professor Oak; you think you can mange it? I'm getting the shivers just contemplating it." Tracy rolled his eyes.

"You're quite the funny one."

"And you love me for it."

More eye rolling.

"I'm pretty sure I can handle one evening of no mention of Professor Oak." May gasped in fake shock and fell dramatically onto the sofa.

"Get over yourself." Tracy smirked, hitting her with a pillow. May let out a shriek of indignation and hit him back. Soon an all-out cushion war had been declared, but soon degenerated into a see-who-can-slump-over-the-sofa-longest contest.

"Well, you're doing pretty well so far." grinned May, prodding him in the side. Tracy prodded her back before scooting away out of range.

"Yeah, I haven't mentioned Prof-"

"Shhh!" May cried, leaning over quickly and pressing a finger over his lips. "And you were doing so well!" Tracy swatted her finger away before snuggling into the sofa cushion further.

"Looks like I'll need a new way to annoy you." Tracy said, grinning cheekily. May sighed and whacked him with a pillow.

Some things never change.

---

Whee! I'm done! I was just reading a Harry Potter fic by 'She's a Star' and I thought the same context would fit well with these characters. I hope you enjoyed reading it, 'cause I enjoyed writing it!

-Rabid Psycho


End file.
